Tips For A Long Distance Relationship

Being a military wife has taught me a lot of things. It’s taught me how to be patient, be polite, be strong, and most of all has taught me how to love someone no matter the circumstances. My husband has been gone for a little over 7 months and it’s been one of the hardest things we’ve ever gone through both individually and as a couple. But in the midst of all the unpredictable craziness, we still find the time to show we care about one another.

Dogs during Christmas time, dealing with a long distance relationship

This post is going to be a mixture of a lot of things but mainly how we’ve conquered a long distance relationship and how you can too! Keep reading if you’re interested…

My husband was deployed officially on April 18th, 2017 but has really been on and off away since January of 2017. Deployment was unexpected for him and truly came as a surprise. My husband is Army Reserves meaning he lives a pretty normal and routine life outside of the military – doesn’t work on a base, we aren’t “stationed” anywhere, and does one weekend a month in uniform. If he’s called for a deployment, he goes but it was never a concern of ours up until this year.

Dogs during Christmas time, dealing with a long distance relationship

During his time away from home, we’ve been fortunate enough to get a few chances to see each other. His unit has been very flexible with leave time and making sure families get to see their service members. It’s been a huge help considering when he left, I thought I wouldn’t see him for that whole duration of time. I’d say we definitely got lucky with that.

Here are a few of the tips and tricks I’ve learned throughout this experience that may be helpful to some of you!

Communication is key. If you won’t be able to talk or text during a certain day, time, whatever…let your partner know. Before my husband goes into “work” he try’s to let me know ahead of time so I’m not bothering him during those hours. It’s convenient for both of us.

Plan vacations and time together. This will be different for each person because all situations are unique. However, if you can plan events or vacations to go on, do it. The time away can be so much easier to endure if you have a date to look forward to. I’ve found comfort in hard days knowing there are only a few weeks left until we meet again.

Dogs during Christmas time, dealing with a long distance relationship

Lean on family and friends, keep yourself busy when you’re not around your partner! This is so crucial! Staying at home everyday, will not help time move faster so get outside and make the best of the situation you’re in.

Send care packages and special items! Celebrate Holidays with each other through a gift exchange via snail mail. Everyone loves to get a surprise from their special someone! Christmas is coming and I know I’ll for sure be sending my hubby a few things he’s been wanting. FYI – there are a ton of easy ideas on Pinterest for decorating the inside of a care package!

These were just a few of the many things that have helped me through this journey. Share some of your experiences and tips in the comments! I’d love to hear some of the ways you all cope with someone you love being gone!

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6 Month Deployment Update

The long road of deployment is soon coming to an end and I’m more ready than ever to have the Hubs home for good. We’re at the half way mark and I wanted to make sure I was documenting these feelings. Definitely a bit excited but more anxious if anything to get our lives back to normal.

“Distance teaches us to appreciate the days that we are able to spend together and distance teaches us the definition of patience – It is a reminder that every moment together is special, and every second together should be cherished”

Six months ago I was telling myself that I could never handle my husband being gone for months on end. I relied on him for nearly everything. We relied on each other. If I was having a bad day at work I knew coming home to him would make it all better. If I forgot to let the dogs out in the morning, he was there to do it for me. If one of us felt sick the other was there to comfort and cuddle.

Once deployment started I assumed so much would change. I thought we’d lose being a team and quickly become two different people. I was surprised to find out we’d definitely drift but for the better. My expectations were incredibly skewed. Without my husband being home, I’ve learned to be more independent. I’ve had to teach myself how to do the larger chores at home like mowing the lawn, checking the fuse box when the power goes out, taking all the cars to get maintenance, and of course killing all the spiders that decide to creep in the bedroom.

“One day closer and one day stronger”

If anything, deployment has made our love grow stronger and I’ll forever be thankful for that. Undoubtedly, everything happens for a reason so I’m sure there’s a bigger plan in store for us someday or somehow. We’ll just have to wait and see what that is come January.

Husband Deployed: 1 Month Update

Wow, one whole month down! I can’t believe so much time has passed since my better half deployed. Truthfully, I feel okay but there are a few things that get to me every once in a while. For instance, my evenings are beginning to blend together and everyday is starting to feel like a Tuesday. It’s the day we tend to forget about, perfectly positioned right in the middle of our work week. Tuesday’s remind us the 7 day stretch has just begun and is no where near over.

Feeling okay about things doesn’t necessarily mean it’s been great. There is nothing easy about your spouse being away. There have been hard days where I wake up knowing it’s gonna be a long one. On those, I try to pack my schedule to offset any unsettling feelings. Staying busy is key! 

There’s also been days where I start my morning off without evening acknowledging he’s gone. As bad as it may sound, I like those days! I hate the constant reminder of my husband being away. Forgetting about it for a while is a nice feeling sometimes.

What’s been my secret tools thus far? FaceTime, Skype, phone calls, text messages and contacting each other any chance we get has made the time go by quick. Along with those, I’ve been trying hard to concentrate on the future and plan for what life will be like when he returns. I’ve taken the time to organize our finances and put together things we have neglected since moving into our home. I don’t want to worry about these things once he’s back.

As for friends and family, everyone’s been great. I’ve gotten a ton of support and love. It’s comforting to know there are individuals that are here when I need them. Still, there are hours where I wish the military talk could just stop. With support comes a lot of concern and frankly I’m doing better than a lot of people give me credit for. I consider myself strong, independent, and successful. I am not one who looks for a “pat on the back” when I know I’m doing a good job. By no means am I used to this much attention and feedback from others.

Even at the beginning stages of our relationship, we kept things very private. We’re not the type to post on Facebook, every hour, just to show the world what we’re doing at that exact moment. We don’t share our anniversary details, rarely our weekend plans, or personal moments. The foundation of our relationship has always been built on making sure we are taken care of before anyone else. I think that’s why I’ve disregarded anyone else’s opinions and continue to do so through this tough time. So far, it’s worked for us that way.

To others out there struggling with a deployment, what is your advice? How have you gotten through your service members time away? If you’re not familiar with this type of life experience, tell me what’s kept you focused through difficult times! I’d love to hear what you all have to say!